Real Life Stories

Inspirational Jessie is now one of our ‘Every Chance Champions’ – part of our advisory board of young people…

“From a young age I was nearly always described as ‘loud’, ‘fidgety’ and ‘rude’, as I used to interrupt a lot and found waiting my turn extremely hard. Although I used to try really hard to listen, wait my turn and follow instructions, I seemed to always be in trouble for distracting other children and trying to be the class clown. 

I always felt I had no control over my behaviour and often acted impulsively, having no concept of consequences, leaving my future self to deal with the problems I’d caused. I suffered with OCD which was a way my subconscious mind was trying to feel it had routine and control. I felt disconnected, as if I didn’t know who I was. I was very much a people-pleaser and didn’t know how to say ‘no’ due to a massive fear of rejection and always needing to be liked. I began self-harming from around year 7 – this was also the time when my parents split up. The relationship between my Mum and I has grown over the past few years, and we are now best friends, but it used to be very strained and hard. 

Year 10 was when my mental health really deteriorated; my depression spiralled, and I felt trapped in a black hole. I had a toxic circle of friends, in and out of school, who did drugs and drank alcohol regularly. My self-image became extremely negative, and I developed body dysmorphia and an eating disorder. I started doing drugs regularly and making myself sick after eating. This unhealthy lifestyle meant I was no longer able to focus on anything due to lack of sleep, food, and nutrition. Simultaneously, I had my first proper relationship which was toxic, filled with drugs, alcohol and co-dependency. 

Then, during the first lockdown, I was diagnosed with ADHD, which was the first step in understanding myself.  I also transferred to a new school, Wave. I was really reluctant to start due to the stigma around non-mainstream schools, so it was a hard transition and caused a lot of anxiety and stress, BUT I decided to give it a go. This was the best decision of my life. I met some amazing people and had the most supportive adults around me who really wanted the best for me. In particular, I made a strong bond with the Family Support Worker and Safeguarding Lead. They made me feel accepted, understood, heard and safe, things I had yearned for my whole school life. I opened up about issues and decided I wanted to become the best version of myself. 

I started to wean myself off hard drugs, but continued to smoke weed every day for a long time after. Overall, it has taken a long time to get to where I am now, completely drug free, recovered from my eating disorder and back in a mainstream setting. I still struggle with my mental health; however, I have managed to find strategies to help myself. Recently, I was officially signed off from CAMHs after nearly 5 years of hard work and I am extremely proud of the individual I have become. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and you have to hit rock bottom in order to find the light.

I want to encourage individuals in the same position to keep fighting and never give up. I want to help people to love themselves and believe in themselves and know that nothing is impossible!“